


Happy

by sunsetveins



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Sappy, This Is STUPID, and sappy, i doubt it, idk - Freeform, idk how to tag this im sorry, its not that good, kind of ooc probably, like 2012 kind of hurt, like it's kind of really fluffy?, my friend thinks it is but, so sappy it needs tagging as such, tagging isnt my thing, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:40:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetveins/pseuds/sunsetveins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is really happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my friend and it's really stupid. I'm sorry.

Dan is happy. This realization is what makes him halt in his steps as soon as he glances out towards the crowd gathered in front of him.

The lights are shining directly into his eyes and the screams are so loud that he can't hear anything else. His feet are aching and the sweat caused by the heated atmosphere is causing the back of his neck to itch in unbearable ways. He can feel Phil's hand grasping at several parts of him, trying to search for something familiar in this mess of anything but. 

When Phil's hand finally finds the crook Dan's elbow, he's dragged from the bright lights and he can see the sea of people all watching him. They're all a mixture of color and sound, but they're there and Dan loves them and Dan can't believe it. 

He's overwhelmed by the sensation of happiness that is rushing through him. It's a high he's forgotten in the mess that has been his life as of late. He doesn't remember why he ever thought that being anywhere but in front of these beautiful, wonderful people would be better for him or for Phil. 

They'd been fighting recently. It was nothing big - nothing at all like 2012 when every interaction was filled with harsh words and even harsher silence - but it was enough to remind them both of the time they'd like to forget. Dan had yet to outgrow the habit of running from his problems and Phil was still too willing to accept any insult Dan had to throw his way. The reminder of these traits did nothing good for the two of them.

But this, this world and this moment and this everything, it was enough. It was enough to shove Dan back into reality. It was enough to take them both out of their own heads. The feeling of the stage was nothing short of euphoric. 

Phil waved with a bright smile. Nothing about it seemed forced at all, which helped Dan to see that Phil felt it too. He knew. 

They were there to talk about a topic that Dan couldn't recall. It was a rather large panel and they were on for an hour and a half. No one was supposed to join them, but Dan had heard that it was possible Troye and Connor were going to crash the party at some point. The two hadn't had a chance in the last two days of the event to come and see Dan or Phil, so it seemed more likely than not.

With this thought in mind, Dan blinked a couple of times and waved to the crowd. They screamed some sort of appreciation back to him, and his body felt electrified. 

"Hello," he said. The room erupted in variations of the same pleasantry. Phil still hadn't removed his hand from Dan's elbow. In fact, he appeared to be gripping it.

"Hey, guys!" Phil exclaimed happily, taking control of the situation like he often did when Dan failed to capitalize. He loosened his grip and walked slightly away from Dan, beginning to chat idly with the crowd. Dan lost himself in the feeling around him.

It was like nothing else to listen to Phil speak. Even if it was casual conversation, there was something warm and slightly childlike about the way he'd take on different subjects. It mesmerized Dan at the best of times, so there was no hope for him here. 

The happiness, the joy that seemed to be everywhere around Dan, seeped into Phil's very being. He was beaming, talking quickly and animatedly about everything he and Dan had been up to recently. He left out the silent treatments and the thrown about cereal. He didn't talk about Dan's moody behavior or how he just sat there and took every single insult Dan sent flying in his direction. He'd leave plot holes in stories, because whatever it was lead to an argument somewhere later in the tale. It made Dan sad, even though he couldn't see a trace of it anywhere on Phil. It was like he simply forgot and wasn't purposely avoiding their actions.

The sadness left just as quickly as it had arrived. Phil's eyes were trained on him, the blue glowing with a type of joy that Dan hadn't seen in them for a long time. 

It was quiet and Dan guesses that there was something that he was supposed to respond to. He hadn't a single clue what it could be, so he let the first thing that came to mind spill from his mouth.

"I'm really happy right now," Dan said breathlessly. Phil seemed stunned, but only for a moment.

"Why's that, Dan?" he asked, a smile playing on his lips.

Dan took a minute. He breathed in, looking around in wonder, and then he exhaled.

"This place. These people. You. Everything is so bright and everything feels like it's right. Nothing in this world could take this away from any of us. That seems so beautiful, the idea of everlasting happiness." Dan can't control his tongue. His usual sarcasm is nowhere to be found. Phil stares at him like he's fragile. He thinks he might be.

"Everything has been so dark and sad. Maybe it's not bad, not like it could be, but it's terrible anyway and we haven't been okay. This? This feels okay. This feels never-ending. I feel like I could scream at the top of my lungs and shatter the world into a million pieces and nothing would change about this moment. Nothing would make the happiness leave my bones. Not even if every negative emotion in existence piled inside of my body. It feels infinite." The room is silent. Dan is shaking. Phil is still staring, almost as if he's waiting for something.

"And me? You? How do we feel to you, Dan?" Phil is calm when he asks, but something in him sounds desperate.

"You feel like a thousand American summers, Phil. You feel like every moment we've spent apart and every morning we've woken up together. You feel like those fucking pancakes that you make for me every time that I ask. You feel like Manchester and London. You feel like Jamaica and Japan. You feel like the entire map and every planet in existence. You feel like the sunrise and the raindrops that race down the glass. You feel like Phil. Like this room. Like home." 

Dan barely takes as much as a half breath when he says the word. He hasn't called anything related to Phil home in a very long time. Not since 2012. Not since he almost left everything that he knew. He hasn't had the strength to utter that word because it felt like an admission.

And it was.

"And you? How do you feel?" 

There's a beat where it's so silent that it's like no one is breathing at all. 

And then a whisper, "I love you. I feel like I love you."

Dan is still happy. He's still happy and he's terrified and every single time that he's ever insulted Phil races through his head like it's trying to force the happiness out of him. But it can't. 

Phil is shaking where he stands, eyes filled with tears and a helpless smile on his face. It seems like it's taking every ounce of his strength to stay where he is. Dan just wants to hold him and apologize for every wrong he's ever done. He wants to tell Phil that he's home with him a thousand times and he wants to whisper how much he loves him into the skin of his neck, so that maybe he'll really get it. He wants to feel this happy forever.

"I love you too, Dan," Phil whispers. It sounds like a shout. It sounds like an explosion. It sounds like exactly what Dan has been dying to hear. 

The room comes alive so suddenly that Dan almost jumps out of his skin. Everyone watching them is either crying or smiling like idiots. Dan isn't certain how he knows this, but it could be because it's an exact mirror of what he's doing himself. He can't bring himself to move, to say anything to make the crowd forget what they just saw. He can't bring himself to ruin what just happened. 

It's progress. The thought just makes Dan's smile all the wider.

"Dan?" Phil is in front of him. He's got an expression on his face that screams something about happiness and freedom. There's something about the way he's holding himself that tells Dan he's got a thousand tons of weight lifted from his body. It's amazing, the things that have just happened.

"Phil?" Dan steps closer to Phil. Nothing about the moment shatters. Not yet.

Phil blinks and grabs Dan's hand, pulling him the rest of the way to him until they're breathing the same air. Dan can count every single color in Phil's eyes from this proximity.

"Is this real? Or am I going to wake up back in 2012 the next time I close my eyes?" Phil is scared. Dan has never seen Phil scared. 

"Have I really driven you that far?" Dan asks. He never thought things could be so bad that Phil would be afraid to wake up back in the time they both wanted so badly to erase. 

"No," Phil says, "it's not anything that you've done. I'm just really happy and I want to be happy with you, but it never seems like we can be happy without something going wrong."

"There are no secrets this time. Nothing can go wrong."

It's when they both realize this that they kiss. It's when they kiss that they both truly realize what the feeling surrounding them is.

It's love.


End file.
